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Word vomit, living arrangements and waiting.

Its been a long eight months..
Since turning twenty two in December. I've been through so many situations and challenges i'm really starting to believe that you twenties are the years you learn the most. The process from pretending to be an adult to actually saying you are an adult for real, really is a dramatic transition. In contrast to this I also feel I'm trying to grow up to quickly, I certainly have the mentality of someone much older but that's only because I have goals I want to meet but also being really impatient doesn't help either and I want to be living my future life now! ** If you haven't already worked out I'm a bit of a control freak and like everything to work out in the time I've imagined myself achieving it ** My end goals will always be in the back of my mind -- Law of attraction method right there -- but I do really love where I'm going career wise just maybe not at the speed I'd like to be at.
I'm five months into my new uni course and I'm obsessed. I've always been one that never liked or got on with education. ** I did mention this is my Q&A on my YouTube account ** I love all my tutors and I've made some really nice friends on the course too. Once I started to get grades back and understand where I want to be and how the skills from the course I can use now with my own mini projects as finally I can put myself at ease with the whole wasting time thing that I constantly think about. The course is challenging which is what I need to keep motivated and interested. I did start a uni series which I will continue you as I have completed the first term.

I've now lived in Huddersfield for three years now and I've made some really good experiences and some really bad. This is something i wish i knew more about before moving out that your environment is everything. From people you're living with, to the house/flat itself. Natural daylight is something I really wish I had in my second house. My bedroom was always dark and I had no light shining into my room which took its effect on my mood and well being. In the flat I'm in now I've never appreciated it more. I have direct sunlight and it's always bright which makes such a difference on my days off when I don't have to leave the flat. Moving away can be so lonely at times so finding a good group really makes you settle quicker. I've had my fair share of good and bad people so I've had it from both ends of the spectrum. Not everyone gets on I understand that but even so.. manors cost nothing right? Something that I'm going to experience for the first time next year is an all girl house. Which I'm so excited about because it's something new and they're all on my course so we'll have similar interests and the house is beauttttiful.

Something I seem to struggle with is consistency and routine. A lot of people have asked 'what happened with your blog? what happened with your YouTube?'  The YouTube thing is something I will continue once I have the right equipment. I was using my phone and my macbook (which is actually currently broken at the moment) and I wasn't happy with the quality of my videos and I really want to be able to give my best into YouTube as it's something I did really enjoy doing and want to be able to produce amazing content that I'm proud of. As for my blog, it's been neglected I'm not even going to sugar coat it. With my writing, it's something i see as a weakness. With dyslexia being my biggest wall in all this, I am truly showing everything. I think my content isn't good enough or reading worthy and this is something that has been an issue through my course and my whole education. I gained an anxiety from my blog and every time I'd go to write something I'd just exit the tab and do something else.. even though its something I want to do. It's a very weird situation that I am trying to work on with help from my uni. Once I've found my writing style and gain confidence in my writing this is something I want to be consistent with. This is why one of the words in the title is word vomit, which is exactly what this post is haha!

The direction I want my blog to go into is that it'll all be about my opinion. Something some people love and some people.. really wish i'd just shut my mouth and not say anything. I want to take topics on anything and everything and put my own twist onto things. I have so many ideas I want to do but I need to start from the very beginning which is my baby blog and really put my time into it and then branch into other projects like having my own podcast, YouTube properly this time, clothing collabs and loads of other things that I want to achieve.

Let me know what you think in the comments or over on my CC account here
Thanks for reading!

My name's Ellie and I'm a 22 year old from Norfolk. I'm currently living in West Yorkshire. I'm currently studying Fashion Communication and Promotion. I have a strong interest in writing and producing content from photographs to vlogs. Alongside from my blog I do have a beauty channel over on YouTube. On here I'll showcase my favourite things and inspiration. 

I'd like to be able to inspire anyone that reads though my blog or watches my channel, as for me the most rewarding thing is to inspire others. I also love to learn new things from different types of people. So don't feel shy and come chat to me!
Feel free to follow me on my other social media platforms below.

I hope you enjoy browsing though my little piece of the internet. 

Love always 

Tumblr Tuesday's

I want to start this segment every tuesday where I find a collection of images I am inspired by. Recently after binge watching Zalfie vlogs of their new home. It just makes me that little bit more excited to be able to move out into my own home and to make it the most pinterest styled home possible! One of the main issues with living in student accommodations the rules are strict and you feel restricted to self express!

I've always like the way white furniture bring sophistication to a room, but I also feel everyyyyyone and their neighbor has that classic chique of white walls and the same ikea furniture. But growing up with siblings and a overactive pup, white doesn't stay white for long and being a crazy doggie lady. This won't be practical (but this probably wont stop me from having at least one white room!) I love cabin styled houses with really nice wood and really grand features like a bath in the floor haha! Something I'd love to have is an outside area, preferably on a balcony, a nice sitting area over a nice view. All I need to do is smash university and starting building my dream home hehe.

Elle x

Dirty Peach and gold hoops.

No makeup-makeup. 

Hoops - Primark, gold 6 piece hoop set, 

Post first YouTube video. Thoughts, feelings, reactions?!

Ahhhh it's been a surreal week to say the least. It was exactly one week ago when I finally drilled into my head 'Tomorrow I shall finally film!' Since then I've been congratulated, insulted and growing into a person I want to become. So I thought I'd write down on here how I felt and the responses I've been getting.

It was honestly one of those 'epiphany' moments, where I was laying in bed monday night and just said to myself
'just film tomorrow'
'im going to film tomorrow'
Just kept telling myself before I eventually fell asleep, I'm going to do it!!! So I woke up wanting to film a vlog type video as a icebreaker for my viewers who don't know me, explaining who I was, why I wanted to start YouTube etc etc. But I was nowhere near confident to wake up and just film, it wasn't second nature to me just yet and there was NO way I was going to film outside and especially in front of strangers!!! I set up a DIY tripod with books upon books and balanced my phone on top of my books and just filmed. During I was fine as I was just doing my makeup like normal but my god I was soooo nervous when I had to film my intro. It took me 5/6 times to film one I was happy with (all the outtakes I'm going to save for a future video) I dont think anyone actually realises how nerve racking it is to just talk to a camera. I got more confident when I filmed my voice overs and when it was finally ready to upload, a massive wave of anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I then started to doubt myself, I started to create nasty comments people would leave on my videos in my head and I started to really panic.

It started to upload then it was final. I filled all my bio out and put it into a playlist and I just watch my screen.. Honestly I was the most nervous I've ever been. I was about to put myself out on the internet and was self exposing myself to anyone and everyone in the world. I eventually uploaded it and posted on my Instagram that I'd finally done something that I knew was going to make me so incredibly happy. I switched all media off from my phone and laptop and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I literally peed so many times until my sister messaged me about it so I facetimed her and my mum and they were so proud!! Mum has always said I should start a beauty channel because in her eyes I am the best at makeup hahahaha how she is so wrong, but it did put my mind at ease and I knew all my friends who have known for ages that I've wanted to do a channel would be so supportive and I was right. I've has the most amazing response from my friends and also a few on internet friends have said they're so proud of me.

The fulfilment I got after uploading that first video was really overwhelming. I finally felt like I had a purpose in my life apart from working a part time job in a restaurant. I was finally working towards my goals and really getting myself excited for sharing my passion for makeup online and hopefully teaching a few people the tips and tricks I've learnt. I have such a passion for teaching and helping other people, so the fact I'd be teaching people my love and obsession for makeup really is a dream come true. My blog is something I'm going to do alongside from my YouTube and isn't going to abandoned now I'm going YouTube as I really do love writing as well as creating visual content. It's going to be a challenge to juggle all this and uni but with a correct routine i'm more than focused to make this work and really get what I want out of life.

Since uploading I've had a few people message me saying I've inspired them to create blogs and to create content on YouTube and this literally fills my heart so so much! The fact me putting myself out there and really jumping into deep water as inspired and given people the confidence to create content makes me the happiest ever! If people can get the same if not more happiness and fulfillment out of doing this as a hobby I'm all for it! There are so many bitter people around that get in the hump about people 'copying' them is ridiculous. We should as humans be happy and proud that we have similar interests and can all give different content for people to enjoy. So if you're ever thinking of wanting to create content because you want to be creative then 1000000% go for it!!!!

One piece of advice is to never compare your chapter one to somebody's chapter ten. Always focus on your content and don't get frustrated that your content isn't as good as someone with 300,000 subscribers. This is a journey and you need to love every minute of it and love that you're growing because seeing your own growth is the most amazing thing and you'll be so proud of yourself!

If anyone has any questions or advice on starting a YouTube, please don't hesitate to ask me. Drop me a message or if you don't want your identity shown click the link in my bio and ask me via CuriousCat.

Love you all so much princesses and princes
Ellie x