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Post first YouTube video. Thoughts, feelings, reactions?!

Ahhhh it's been a surreal week to say the least. It was exactly one week ago when I finally drilled into my head 'Tomorrow I shall finally film!' Since then I've been congratulated, insulted and growing into a person I want to become. So I thought I'd write down on here how I felt and the responses I've been getting.

It was honestly one of those 'epiphany' moments, where I was laying in bed monday night and just said to myself
'just film tomorrow'
'im going to film tomorrow'
Just kept telling myself before I eventually fell asleep, I'm going to do it!!! So I woke up wanting to film a vlog type video as a icebreaker for my viewers who don't know me, explaining who I was, why I wanted to start YouTube etc etc. But I was nowhere near confident to wake up and just film, it wasn't second nature to me just yet and there was NO way I was going to film outside and especially in front of strangers!!! I set up a DIY tripod with books upon books and balanced my phone on top of my books and just filmed. During I was fine as I was just doing my makeup like normal but my god I was soooo nervous when I had to film my intro. It took me 5/6 times to film one I was happy with (all the outtakes I'm going to save for a future video) I dont think anyone actually realises how nerve racking it is to just talk to a camera. I got more confident when I filmed my voice overs and when it was finally ready to upload, a massive wave of anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I then started to doubt myself, I started to create nasty comments people would leave on my videos in my head and I started to really panic.

It started to upload then it was final. I filled all my bio out and put it into a playlist and I just watch my screen.. Honestly I was the most nervous I've ever been. I was about to put myself out on the internet and was self exposing myself to anyone and everyone in the world. I eventually uploaded it and posted on my Instagram that I'd finally done something that I knew was going to make me so incredibly happy. I switched all media off from my phone and laptop and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I literally peed so many times until my sister messaged me about it so I facetimed her and my mum and they were so proud!! Mum has always said I should start a beauty channel because in her eyes I am the best at makeup hahahaha how she is so wrong, but it did put my mind at ease and I knew all my friends who have known for ages that I've wanted to do a channel would be so supportive and I was right. I've has the most amazing response from my friends and also a few on internet friends have said they're so proud of me.

The fulfilment I got after uploading that first video was really overwhelming. I finally felt like I had a purpose in my life apart from working a part time job in a restaurant. I was finally working towards my goals and really getting myself excited for sharing my passion for makeup online and hopefully teaching a few people the tips and tricks I've learnt. I have such a passion for teaching and helping other people, so the fact I'd be teaching people my love and obsession for makeup really is a dream come true. My blog is something I'm going to do alongside from my YouTube and isn't going to abandoned now I'm going YouTube as I really do love writing as well as creating visual content. It's going to be a challenge to juggle all this and uni but with a correct routine i'm more than focused to make this work and really get what I want out of life.

Since uploading I've had a few people message me saying I've inspired them to create blogs and to create content on YouTube and this literally fills my heart so so much! The fact me putting myself out there and really jumping into deep water as inspired and given people the confidence to create content makes me the happiest ever! If people can get the same if not more happiness and fulfillment out of doing this as a hobby I'm all for it! There are so many bitter people around that get in the hump about people 'copying' them is ridiculous. We should as humans be happy and proud that we have similar interests and can all give different content for people to enjoy. So if you're ever thinking of wanting to create content because you want to be creative then 1000000% go for it!!!!

One piece of advice is to never compare your chapter one to somebody's chapter ten. Always focus on your content and don't get frustrated that your content isn't as good as someone with 300,000 subscribers. This is a journey and you need to love every minute of it and love that you're growing because seeing your own growth is the most amazing thing and you'll be so proud of yourself!

If anyone has any questions or advice on starting a YouTube, please don't hesitate to ask me. Drop me a message or if you don't want your identity shown click the link in my bio and ask me via CuriousCat.

Love you all so much princesses and princes
Ellie x


So the day has finally come.. I've made a Youtube video! I've literally just uploaded it and im shaking like a leaf. I'm so nervous and I keep needing a wee every three seconds!!!

If you'd like to see it, click the link below!

Uni Series! // Part One // Pre univeristy.

I've decided to do a University series where I take you along my journey of the big and scary university. I wanted to call this segment the 'pre university' stage because lucky for me, I've rehearsed and perfected first year and know how nerve racking it can be moving to another city or even if you're in your hometown It's still just as scary.
I am now ready to redo a completely different course with the experience of what to do and what to 100% not do.

I'm not going to lie, I'm actually more nervous to do it again than I do it again. Yeah, I know the area and I have friends in the area of my new place I call home, But I'm doing a completely different course, with new lecturers and new course mates. I feel there's the added nerves because it's a fashion course and if we all listen to the stereotypes that are fashion students they re all bitchy as hell! Which to a degree.. was kinda right but that's because I didn't gel with different people. I made friends with one girl and didn't mix with others. She did the socialising and I just tagged along and became the little puppy dog that I am in these types of situations where I don't know anyone and just go with the flow instead of just going out there and putting myself out there. This goes to my first tip!

Tip one - Practise on being confident on introducing yourself to strangers (Sober) This will always be a downfall for me, I go really shy with people I don't know when I'm 100% sober. I mean making friends drunk is all great that's why freshers is a thing, but then there's the awkwardness of if you're actually real life friends the following morning. Plus I wouldn't suggest going to lectures half off your rocket just for a bit of dutch courage.

Tip two - Say yes to everything!! Now I'm not talking about the literal term. But make sire you're getting yourself involved with as much as you can. If someone asks if you want to go to the freshers fair or even get the bus home with them, connect with people and jump at every given time to hang around with different people so you're not cornered like I was and having to be around people that after a time, you find out 'arent your people' and you don't connect with.

Tip three - If you're suffering.. tell someone. This was my biggest regret. I was suffering so bad with really bad anxiety and the work load that is university. I didn't reach out to the correct people that would give me the correct help. I felt so alone and hardly came out of my room. If you know you have anxiety or an type of mental illness, I plead that you tell someone and get the right help. Even if you're just not getting the work there are services to help you with all your worries etc at uni. So abuse the shit out of it and get as much help as you can!!! I know I'm going too and not going to go though the added stress of doing it all on my own.

Tip four - BE YOURSELF! Honestly don't go to uni with the intention you're going to be this amazing person you've always dreamed of being.. because honey that ain't you! You find who you really are at uni and you grow into the person you're meant to become, so be yourself and enjoy the process of growing into the best version of you :)

I hope you enjoyed this first part to one of my many new series I'm going to start on this blog. If you're at uni, what was your favourite memory? If you're starting uni what are you most excited about? Let me know in the comments or privately whatever you feel comfortable I'd love to hear!

Love you loads darl
Elle x

My eczema hell // Part two.

I'm back with another eczema post. For people that have been following me for a long time will know I'm a really bad eczema suffer. It's normally this time every year I have a massive flair up. Last year it was all over my body (which if you haven't checked out I'll leave a link at the end of this post) and my neck. It was such a disaster but I finally found something to keep it down and I haven't had a problem since. Only on my neck when I fake tan but it's never as bad as it used to be.

Unfortunately eczema is all trail and error and can become SO expensive, having to find something that'll work for you. This time around it's all over my scalp and of course my face. (It's always been a thing on my face so I know what works for that) But I've never experienced it on my head.. How was I meant to keep my head moisturised without looking like a massive grease ball?? I was in such a corner because it would flake so much.. just like the dreaded dandruff. Which I knew wasn't that because my eczema would be all over my head and would wrap all the way down my ears and the back of my neck.

I did an Instagram post a while back seeking help with my eczema scalp and so many of you reached out! I was internally grateful for how many of you gave me things to try out. Being on a super low budget I wanted to try cheaper alternatives instead of going to the doctor. I got a message from a girl a year below me in uni (shout out gal you saved my life) She said about massaging coconut oil onto my scalp and leaving it for over 30 minutes (I normally would sleep in it then wash my hair the following day) and I've never turned back. My scalp felt clean and not all clogged up, I currently have it on my scalp now! It stopped me itching and really does help between washes to maintain my flakes. Admittedly it doesn't cure it (as of yet) but it's certainly toning down and now the weathers changing I reckon it'll clear soon.

Something I've teamed up with my coconut oil is a 'T-gel' shampoo I got from boots which I will also link below, I normally spend about 5-10 minutes in the shower just massaging this on my scalp to deep clean my scalp. Another trick I do between washes is dry shampoo! I read somewhere that if you dry shampoo your hair with a flaky scalp it gets the awkward flakes out of your hair, which to be fair it does work and also it controls the added oil I've put into my hair.

I hope you enjoyed reading and hopefully gaining some tips if you're like me and really are suffering with the weather change. I get questioned a lot about how to control my eczema on a budget, This tub I got from Lidl for well under £5 (I can't remember off the top of my head how much it was) If you have any further questions feel free to let me know. You know the drill by now! 

Hugs and Kisses 
Elle x

I need a change..

I've had such positive feedback since relaunching my blog and thank you to those who have reached out to me and sent me such kind words. This post is a little one compared to my 21 things I've learnt in 21 years which was so fun to put together!!

I really want to try out new foundations. Drugstore, high end, anything. I really want to find my HG foundation. My current foundation I use (when I have a tan) is the Nars - sheer glow foundation which I do love but there's just something missing. I don't fall madly in love with it when  put it on and I want that feeling in my life. For when I don't have a tan I use the Mac studio fix fluid. Which was the first ever foundation I actually loved but now I've grown my knowledge of makeup I just realised how much I actually hate it! It oxidise so much and makes me so pink. I just really don't like it anymore.

So I want you guys to tell me whats your favourite foundation and why, I want to just splurge and get a sh*t load and have a play with different foundations, from formula's, coverage, different brands I've never think you try? So let me know in the comments or give me a message on my social media platforms or my ask box in the sidebar!

Love you loads
Elle x

Picture source - https://68.media.tumblr.com/8e212fb9cf20b973bbf7c53368877a6f/tumblr_oghvn1VIJh1vp05i1o1_1280.jpg